Dear Mrs. Washington:

I have been living in my house near Norfolk’s downtown for over 10 years. My wife and I bought it when our daughter was in pre-K, and she is now in high school at Regional. But people still say: “Oh, you live in the So-and-so house,” and they mention a family that owned it 50 years ago. It’s my house. What don’t people get about that? IT’S MY HOUSE!

Yours truly,

Burns My Back Pockets

Dear Burns,

Two things jump out at me in your letter. First of all, I would advise you to stay calm. It is your house, possession is nine tenths of the law. Second, how can you put that fire in your back pockets out? The answer is humility, which is inspired by gratitude. Righteous anger may get you up in the morning but it will not allow you to sleep at night. Do not indulge it. Be thankful you have a house and quote Shakespeare’s “What’s in a name?” to any passersby who cannot let go of the past.

I have faith in you,

Mrs. Washington

Dear Mrs. Washington:

Is it all right if I say “NOR-FORK”? I’ve lived here for ten and a half years.

Nellie from Spokane

Dear Nellie,

It is perfectly acceptable to pronounce the name of our town any way you wish. I myself was raised with the pronunciation you prefer. I believe it was because my mother didn’t approve of the local chant, “We don’t smoke, We don’t drink, Nor_____! Nor___!” And I can certainly see why.

Carry on,

Mrs. Washington

Dear Mrs. Washington:

Can you recommend a good place to go sledding? My boys are three and seven.

Cabin Fever

Dear Cabin,

I would suggest sledding at Botelle School, where I hear they love children. As of course do I.

Keep the home fires burning,

Mrs. Washington

Dear Mrs. Washington:

Yesterday I went into the town center for lunch, but when I got there I couldn’t decide which of the three restaurants to go to. All of the owners are my friends, all of them work hard, and all of them make a pretty good lunch—but I don’t want to antagonize anyone. So I went home and opened a can of tuna. What do you recommend?

Puzzled

Dear Puzzled,

This seems to be a nice problem to have. Three restaurants, with seven days for lunch, suggest a moveable feast. This will support your friends’ businesses, satisfy you and with luck you’ll be treating your cat to that can of tuna.

Bon appétit,

Mrs. Washington