Text and Photo by Kelly Kandra Hughes

I’m sitting with Eve and John Thew on their screened-in porch. An electric heater is keeping us toasty warm during these subfreezing January temperatures. John is sitting across from me, and Eve is sitting in a chair to my left. “I’ll tell you the secret of marriage,” John says. “We love each other. What else is there to say?”

What else, indeed. That evening, not too long ago, Eve and John Thew regaled me with dozens of stories from their nearly 69-year marriage. They got married on June 9, 1951. Both were born in 1927, John in Norwalk and Eve in New York City. They met when Eve’s family moved to Westport, Conn., in about 1931. Eve says they met one day when they were seven years old when John went fishing down at the docks in Westport. John claims they were nine. “It’s the argument of our life,” laughs John. 

But it wasn’t smooth sailing to marriage from that first meeting. According to Eve, she was slow and fat. “Eve,” I interrupt her, “I don’t believe that for a minute.” Eve tells me she had a thyroid problem, and yes, it was true. “I had to work for a bit of attention from John. I started chasing him in high school. He was very popular and loads of fun and quite good-looking.”

“I thought Eve was a nice girl,” chuckles John. “She wrote me notes during study hall. Things like ‘nice sweater.’ I answered back out loud.” John and Eve tell how their study hall teacher wore over-ironed rayon clothes to school every day. Yet, John charmed that teacher with daily compliments and earned enough status that he could talk out loud during study hall. 

That charm carried John further into popularity and fun. So Eve had to be smart about how to get his attention. “I entertained all the time, throwing parties so I could invite him,” she says. “They were an excuse for him to come over.” 

Eve apparently needed all the help she could get, since John was quite the ladies’ man in his youth. He was dating another girl for three years during Eve’s parties. “So you were dating two girls at the same time?” I ask for clarification, meaning Eve and this other girl. 

John thinks for a moment. “Oh, it was more than two.”

“My God,” says Eve. “If you only knew.”

The turning point came when John prayed for guidance. He asked God which girl was right for him. “My thoughts instantly turned to Eve,” smiles John. 

According to Eve, the next thing she knew John was asking her if she wanted to go to Vermont with him to get his parents’ car. The more time they spent together, the more they realized how each could be a great source of support to the other. “There was understanding,” says Eve. “Growing up, John’s father had calcification of his back and spine. So when we moved in to take care of my father and my brother who was dying of MS, he understood what that kind of care was like. When we realized we could help each other get through these times, that’s the glue that held us together.”

That glue, in part, is made of one ingredient in particular—laughter. “We both have a sense of the ridiculous,” says John. “We laugh all the time.” 

Eve agrees. “I’ve admired John’s humor all the way through our marriage. I’d get up in the morning and before I knew it, I’d be laughing.” 

A perfect example of this truth in their marriage comes toward the end of our interview. John is telling me how much he admires Eve. “When Eve stands up at church to say something, I think, ‘Here’s my gal. Just listen to her. I’m so proud.’ I just stand up and say stupid things.” Eve doesn’t miss a beat. “Well, you’re going to have to do better now after this interview.”

Love, laughter, and understanding—can the secrets to a happy marriage really be that simple? John assures me it is. “We always had the words to solve any crisis,” he says. “I love you. That’s why we’ve both been so happy.”