Families finding ways to be together and safe

by Kelly Kandra Hughes
Photo Courtesy of Janet Byrne

Family celebrations are a holiday tradition many people look forward to during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Because of Covid-19, however, these celebrations come with the risk of exposure to a potentially fatal virus. Many Norfolk residents now must decide what to do about their beloved holiday traditions and are asking themselves, does the risk of exposure outweigh the benefits of being together? 

“I can’t risk anything,” says Julia Regis. “My father is recovering from major cardiac surgery.” Regis plans for their family Thanksgiving to be together but separate—a socially distant theme of many family gatherings these days. Her family of four, plus her parents, will eat in a large room but in different areas so they can still be together. Her parents have regularly been included in their “distance circle” since the end of May. “We’re just doing what we can to keep our family together but safe in this chaotic and uncertain time.” 

Vinita Patterson is also concerned about the risks of gathering in a group, and she is well aware of the seriousness of the virus. In April, her mother died of Covid-19. But she also looks at her mother’s death as a reminder of the fragility of life. “No matter how safe a person is,” says Patterson, “a person can still get sick.” The only time she gets to see her extended family is during the holidays. She and her children and grandchildren don’t want to miss out on their time together and are still planning on spending the holidays visiting one another. “If one of us were to get sick, it could be the last time to see each other anyway. People are wasting precious time. I don’t want to live my life in fear.”

For Janet Byrne, Norfolk mother of five, these holidays are an opportunity to return to simpler times. Normally, Byrne and her family spend the holidays with her extended family of 50, which includes 23 grandchildren. “Our holidays together are always great stories and memories later on. But in the moment, it’s stress over who’s making the dessert, who’s got gluten allergies, and who’s picking up the grandparents from the airport. I think, why did I do this? We get so wrapped up in everything. We set this standard that the holidays have to be perfect. Now is a good time to remember what the season is really about. We never really traveled when I was a child. You stayed home. You played with toys, hung out in your pajamas, ate whenever you wanted, and prayed for snow for a white Christmas. I have peace of mind this year just focusing on the kids and relaxing.” This year, Byrne is looking forward to staying at home with her husband and children. Their plan is to hang out, be chill, and play board games together by the fire, with their Christmas tree in the background. “Probably snow, too,” laughs Byrne, “since it’s Norfolk.” 

With Thanksgiving over three weeks away, Norfolk families still have time to consider how their holidays will be affected and what plans they’ll make during this difficult time. Of course, in a time of pandemic, three weeks can completely alter even the best-laid plans, and the state could impose any number of restrictions between now and then to combat rising Covid cases. Perhaps the way Norfolk resident Kim Russ looks at the upcoming holidays is the best answer about altered holiday plans. “[It’s] too early and [I’m] too busy to think about it,” she says.