Jerry Oakes and his wife of nearly 72 years, Ellen DeVere Bechtold Oakes, passed away 10 days apart in August 2025, both at the age of 94. Born in Indiana and Hoosiers to the core, Jerry and DeVere lived in Norfolk for 21 years before moving to assisted living in Farmington in 2023.

Jerry was born April 11,1931, in Anderson, Ind., to Charles (Charlie) Oakes and Louise Fisher Oakes. He was the middle of three children, with an older brother Paul and a younger sister Barbara. He loved baseball, basketball, hiking, biking and travel. Jerry’s work was always in some form of sales, and he excelled at the dying art of getting to know customers and finding out how he could best serve them. He was an avid reader and loved to be part of discussion groups on topics related to religion and spirituality. He was generous with his money, possessions and words of encouragement. He’d give you anything and do anything for you. Even when Parkinson’s Disease was taking its toll, he would offer to carry your luggage and want to know how everyone in the family was doing. His spirit was strong and he had a cheerful outlook to the end.

Ellen (who went by her middle name DeVere) was born on Jan. 10, 1931, in Indianapolis, Ind., to Royal Bechtold Sr. and Ellen Van Voorst Bechtold. When she was young, her family moved to Anderson and there she met Jerry while in high school. She and her adored older brother Royal Jr. lost their father when DeVere was just nine years old, but she was always surrounded by loving family who were very important to her. DeVere was whip-smart and could have done anything at all she chose to, and her choice was the domestic sphere, including extensive volunteer work wherever she and Jerry lived after they married in 1953. She also loved to read and travel and was an avid crafter. She made all sorts of things in her workshop, often in the company of dear friends.

DeVere worked at the Norfolk Library for more than a decade with a focus on children’s programs, among other activities. She was a member of the Norfolk United Church of Christ, aiding in the first fundraising efforts to restore the Tiffany windows in Battell Chapel. For several years, DeVere and Jerry hosted a Bible study with Pastor Erick Olsen and the pastor from the church in Winchester Center. They delighted in the Yale Summer Music Festival—particularly the student concerts—and were dedicated members of the Norfolk Historical Society.

Jerry and DeVere also lived in Florida, Minnesota, Illinois and Virginia, and traveled widely in the U.S. and Europe. They had two daughters, Dianne Louise Oakes Pierce and Jennifer Ellen Oakes Crawford. Dianne and her husband Joey have two children, Lauren and David, and four grandchildren, Christopher, Kaiden, Arthur and Lewis. Jennifer and her husband George have one daughter, Isabelle.

The Oakes touched many lives with their generosity and kindness. Their neighborliness was legend. They created community and life-long friendships and, to this day, friends and relatives remember them for helping them at a tough time in their lives or for orchestrating a fun adventure. Jerry and DeVere loved classical music, nature, libraries, their church communities, and causes that lift people into better lives. If you are moved to do so, please make a donation in their memory to the Norfolk church, the Norfolk Library, Habitat for Humanity, the Nature Conservancy or the Garth Newell Music Center in Virginia. n